You don't have to celebrate New Year's Eve this year

We made it. It's finally the end of an awful year. 

Typically, the world collectively celebrates a staggered New Year's Eve with the clock striking midnight in each time zone and copious amounts of alcohol, impressive fireworks displays, and a substantial spread of cheeses and meats. 

We watch tourists in diapers and branded purple hats piss themselves for the chance to see an unimpressive ball "drop" from a metal pole in Times Square, and maybe even appear on TV for a brief second. 

For the first (and probably only) time all year, someone plays a bad version of "Auld Lang Syne." You know the song: "Should old acquaintances be forgotten / And never brought to mind?"  Read more...

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